His eyes red like fire, burning with consuming passion and hatred, with bitter experience and hopelessness. His tears knew no bound. Its path felt the harshness of the agony and pain from the past, it felt the cruelty done to him by her so wise and sly yet ‘the weaker vessel’ they call her. Excruciating pains going through his mind made him long for Israfael (angel of destruction) as memories rushed to the surface – the kisses from her succulent lips; hugs as the gentle touch of the breeze; smiles as the sun that brightens the darkest path made his tears flow down like a river fall that can’t be measured. Ugly memories freely flowed to the surface. They were ugly memories of pains from the past.
The ache in his heart, his value and worth taken for granted was caused by his inability to forsee the future. His blindness by love while in a wrong-ship, her comparison of him with another man propelled disdain. Unknown to him, the foundation of distrust had lain hidden from the very start and had made him an easy prey of illusion.
The utmost price in this relationship he paid, expecting dividends which never came. Her innocent laughter, her soothing words were all deceit. When it dawned on him how the deceiver deceived him, tears of dejection and rejection rolled down from a broken heart.
Let fate take its toil he resigned.
He will go about his daily hurdles, determined to bury the past in the past. How easy it would have been but shades of the past interferes with the present.
Flipping through his phone, he saw messages of the past:
“You are fair among all.
You are as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi – spring of the kid
You are the fire that burns inside of me,
The glory radiating in my soul.
You are the angel I’ve been praying to come
The light of my morning -a morning without clouds
You are as a tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shinning after rain.
You are my song of praise
The beauty that magnetizes hospitality and loyalty
You are my glory and prosperity,
A forever living goddess
A shadow of love,
An ebony, my damsel.
You are a tight music that brings liberty to soul
Oh dear, let’s be like two fools in love…”
Tears of remembrance for the umpteenth time began again as the past (pains from the past) starts to distort the present. Yet nothing could be done cause like a treasure she was in his heart.
Let fate take its toil
He goes about his daily hurdles
Determined to bury the past in the past.
How easy it could have been but the shades of the past distorts the present.
With sincerity of heart he prayed ” Lord I’ve had days as pitch and night crimson as blood but they’ve passed over me like water. Let this also pass over me lightly. He concluded with hope from divine as he wised for liberation from this monster -pains from the past.