“So many women just don’t know how great they really are. They come to us all vogue outside and vague on the inside” Mary Kay Ash

I have learnt over the years that women are special species creatively created; therefore they must be taken care of and treated with utmost respect. “If God made anything better than women, I think he kept it to himself” Groucho Marx. Women are called the ‘weaker’ vessels yet the strongest. They are wise but at times do not know what they want since ‘there are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats” Pablo Picasso, this made me had a deep thought of what might help that lady cum woman before saying I do to the impossible guy who is breathing down her neck for a ‘YES I DO,’ response.
Here are 10 tips for single ladies before saying I do. Do enjoy!


This is my first tip and it should never be compromised. A man who fears God will do things that please God and you. How do you know if he fears God? You will definitely know by the way he relates to his fellow person. He will do unto you what he wants you to do to him that is, love thy neighbor as thy self syndrome. How committed is he to the things of God? His zeal and attitude to the things of God speaks volume. Does he have passion for the kingdom work? If he fears God he will flee from all appearance of evil. Always check for red flags, it will be there for you to see unless you are not observant or paying attention. Don’t be blindfolded by love, the signs will be written boldly or faintly. Knowing if he is God fearing is in the fruit (fruit of the spirit) the person bears.


The second stage of this is for you to be his friend. His true character will be revealed when you are his friend. True friends stay true to each other. Be a friend first then other things will follow. U will definitely know how he values his family and relations during the course of friendship. Have this at the back of your mind that the way he treats his family is the way he will definitely treat you. The way he treats his sister is a clear indicator that he will treat you the same way.


This factor should not be toyed with. Take note of his unconscious activities not just his calculated activities. Pay attention to the things he does unconsciously, those little things are the foxes, they are the red flags that will tell you in details who this individual is. That attitude, character or action you shrug off might be the real personality of the bros. they might be the bloodhounds you need to deal with. You have a choice to stay or play, it’s all your choice now.


That which costs little is less valued. A man that does not value you is not the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with. He is not your prince charming. If you continue in that relationship, you are likened to a man that goes to the stream to fetch a bucket of water with a basket. If he can’t value you then you are worthless and worthless a cent to him, you are just his maid, ridiculed in the midst of his friend. You are like his trash bin, when he is done with you he dumps you and goes to another that he values and respects. You are the daughter of a King, the apple of his eyes; therefore, a man that cannot value this King’s daughter is not worth wasting your precious time on. How does he value his mum and family? Good or bad? Watch it that is another red flag you need to note.


Do you respect him as a man? Can you respect him as a man? If you CANNOT, you have no business being with him. Respect they say is reciprocal. A man that you don’t respect can never respect you. Such a man can never be your prince charming. He can never be the one that will sweep you off your feet. “to be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” Bono


“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful ones is a lot of hard work.” Stephen King. Is he hard working? To what extent will he want to go to put food on the table for you? Can he fend for you? Let him have a stable means of livelihood. His livelihood might not be much but managing himself, showing a sense of responsibility and commitment is a huge statement of intent. He might not earn much, but do you smell a sense of responsibility? “Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you’re willing to pay the price” Vince Lombardi.
Is he willing to pay the price?


Don’t just marry him because he is handsome, rich, has a car or has a six-pack, etc these are not the criteria. A man of vision has direction. Define your relationship. Where are you heading? What are his plans and goals? Don’t marry a clueless man, if you do, you are like two blind beggars leading ‘selves both of you will end up in a ditch. Let him have direction otherwise, you will stay long in the wilderness.

“And the Lord answered me, and said, write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end, it shall speak, because it will surely come, it will not tarry” Habakkuk 2:2-3


Don’t be over spiritual about this. As you are praying ensure you also watch. Watch so that you won’t patch your destiny later on in life. There are some guys that are pretenders, they will pretend to get what they want and after that hell is let loose. Watch who you open the door of your heart to. Don’t be fooled by this fella’s frequent eloquence, he might have nothing upstairs. An empty barrel makes the loudest noise. Watch and pray so that you don’t fall the prey.


Accept yourself, love yourself for who you are. Value yourself. Be confident, work on your self-esteem if you have a low self-esteem as an issue. You are too precious and loaded to be taken for granted. Work on your attitude, be a praying woman, be matured in mind, ask questions when you need to, be humble and know what you want. When you do all this and others, you will be in a better position to extend love to another. Your happiness is no respecter of persons. “Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness” Ayn Rand

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” Scott Pack


There should be no room for self-pity or sentiment. Pity in the sense that the guy in question is old and pressured by his family to get married or because he is a handicap, therefore you pity him and stupidly fall for him, you just successfully became a prisoner, a refugee. That is a trap, a prison yard of hurt, pain and regret. Don’t be boxed, otherwise, you are entering into covenant with a daredevil. I pray you come out unscathed once you are in. Your happiness should not be put on the line, if you don’t have at least one or two things in common then there is really no point plunging into this deep ocean. Like and love the person in question.

Matured men and women should get married. Not men controlled by their parents, most especially their mum. “Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes” Mae West

What do you think? Kindly drop your view in the comment box so as to serve you better and please don’t forget to share.

Olujobi Akinola

Akinola is a poet, a singer, a teacher, a minister of the word through poems. He lives in Lagos, Nigeria. He is passionate about writing and loves seeing people get inspired through his poems and creative write-ups.

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About Olujobi Akinola 53 Articles
Akinola is a poet, a singer, a teacher, a minister of the word through poems. He lives in Lagos, Nigeria. He is passionate about writing and loves seeing people get inspired through his poems and creative write-ups.